Lighten Things Up With Retirement Jokes

Most people approach retirement in a gloomy countenance. They approach it as if it is a surrender to the hands fate and debilitation of the body. So it is important that one will help them realize that it is something to be accepted since it is an inevitable stage in one’s life. But how can one do that? It’s simple: poke fun at retirement.

Retirement jokes, like ones said on speeches are popular. Speeches tend to become emotional that it hinges every one in the room in a state of gloom and sympathy. But one can raise the bar in retirement jokes (without insulting the retiree, of course).


In addition to talking about the wonderful moments the speaker has shared with the retiree, he/she can add something that will lighten up the atmosphere. One may give a stone slab, which has inscriptions on it, “in advance“. Friends may also joke and call the retiree “grandfather” whenever the latter tries to reprimand the former in a conversation can also help lighten the mood. But don’t overdo it, of course.

Other gags that might be of interest is a wig with an unusual color like pink or purple, a follow up item to the joke that he may need a wig in the future. If he, in an inexplicable moment, declines it, say: “okay, then wear a paper bag instead if you get bald“. Always be ready whenever jokes don’t succeed; so keep those backup jokes ready!

Believe it or not, some service providers also write and sell personalized retirement speeches with witty jokes after understanding the personality and interests of the retiree. These companies usually add jokes about the retiree’s profession.

If one cannot find enough retirement jokes, a little visit to the bookstore can help a great deal. There are joke books that cover a wide range of topics, one of which is retirement. A little scan here and there will help inspire the reader if he/she isn’t the natural comedian. These may also be good retirement gifts as well, helping the retiree have a good laugh in one of those boring Tuesday afternoons.

There are also a lot of websites available on the net that provide a lot of jokes and free retirement e-books like The e-books that they have range from the “200 best things said about retirement” to “retirement wisdom you won’t get from your financial advisor“.


There is a lot of leeway one has on inserting jokes in a retirement party. If you know someone who is coming near to retirement, you can send an email or two which has retirement quotes like “retirement is when everyday is Saturday” and “retirement: goodbye tension, hello pension!” It is a good gesture and gives off the sense that you know what the future retiree is going through. Again, keep the retiree (future or not) off tension as much as possible and make him/her anticipate retirement with smile and not with a sigh as much as possible.

And when the retirement party does come, keep the same lighthearted approach, inserting jokes here and there and probably some gags like the ones said above. Not only will the retiree will be less fussy about retirement, he/she will focus more about the people who kept him happy on that bittersweet day, especially the one who gave him that weird pink wig.

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